Sinkholes

I have an irrational fear of sinkholes.

I know I know, they’re horrifying, I agree. I completely agree, imagine feeling the ground around you sink just on a regular ass day?

Like you just go into your friendly neighborhood Starbucks, realize it’s a little too pricy, then travel a couple extra blocks to get into the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts for an iced coffee. Nice, score, triumph. Delicious coffee and caffeine. Fantastic all around. You go outside, observe a few passing pedestrians, ponder life as you watch a dog piss on a fire hydrant, you smile and walk over to the crosswalk. You jaywalk across the street, smile shy to a passerby who keeps eye contact longer than expected, check your texts as you sip your coffee with your other hand, think you’re having the most regular day ever then WHAM!

You feel your leg drop into a depression, as if its been caught by a Walker from the Walking Dead. But instead of a zombie, you get caught by a sudden hole in the ground, which grows exponentially all around you as if God Himself wants to swallow you into the Earth, and you meet your demise in that dark and sudden abyss.

I’ll wait for you to stop shivering in the corner at the thought of it all. Go on, it’s okay it’s just a hypothetical story, you’re safe now shhhh shhhhhhh.

That’s basically my inner monologue every time I get thinking about sinkholes. Tell me that’s not a terrifying thought. Sure there are far more pressing concerns, but something about all of that just strikes me as deeply disturbing.

There’s limestone and sandstone and carbonate rock being built upon just about everywhere. Everywhere. Then some passing ground water comes on by, all unassuming and gentle over years and years, just a wandering stream through a thirsty world. Then after several years maybe decades have passed, that stream’s made itself a gigantic hole. So it can swallow up your gotdamn car.

The more I think about it the less irrational this fear feels to me, though one should never live in fear. Even the people in the Walking Dead go on living after everything has fallen apart around them. I don’t think it’s too far a jump to say that sinkholes are just as pressing a threat to humanity and society as we now recognize it as a zombie apocalypse.

I’m of course being ridiculous, but sinkhole awareness is something we should all have. Not that I have any idea what to do about it, just trying to inception a personal fear into all of you. I’ll leave you with an extensive sinkhole compilation I’m just now looking up on youtube, oh my God, for your viewing horror.

My God I didn’t even realize that a situation where somebody falls into a sinkhole during a regular ass day actually happened until I just saw this video literally just now while trying to find a video to end this blog post on. Oh my God. If you’re all ready afraid of sinkholes after reading this far, don’t watch that video above. I don’t want you to have nightmares like I’m about to.

*shivers and clumsily hits ‘close’ on youtube browser*