Seeking Sanity

So I’m deciding to start actually blogging. There’s a strong chance I’m just going to rip this site down at some point, but for the moment I feel an impulse to write something.

Before the end of this year, I want an agent. I want somebody who’s going to look at my work and say it has promise and is worth taking a chance on. Before the end of this year I want to be recognized as a writer by a wider community than my most immediate friends, who I honestly love and appreciate deeply. But I can’t make a living that way. That’s no secret.

Having said that, I’m realizing navigating through a manuscript that is well over 200,000 words is cumbersome and stressful, especially with the background knowledge that the majority of it will be ripped apart by any editor or publisher who takes it. First time novelists don’t publish at high word counts, and I get that. I’m fine with that. I just want to be published so I can start the marketing process.

Now that I’m actually in the groove of this blogging thing again, it feels kind of good. Cathartic, nice release. I might get no views on this. I expect that. I also almost wish that. At least for now.

The struggle is real. I appreciate your allowing me to direct your wandering thoughts for these few moments, stranger reading this. I’ll better entertain in the future.

Give me just a little more time.

30 thoughts on “Seeking Sanity”

  1. Hey!
    You stopped over to mine so I’ve popped over to your blog – and enjoy your ramblings. Keep at it. I’d temper the make a living as a writer dream though – it’s tough as hell. I’ve worked with books and writers for close to 20 years and the number of writers who can sustain themselves by writing books, well, that number’s diminished. Tough business. And rejections – get ready. I have double-digits worth but have learned from their often generous feedback. Still, after years of trying, no takers for my memoir.
    I dream that dream too, of not having to start the car up in the morning to go to work, just toddle over to the computer… sigh. So I buy lottery tickets. And keep writing. You should too. Ya never know!
    I look forward to reading more of you.
    Tricia

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    • Thanks for stopping by! True I hear you on all of that I’m under no illusions, I’ve been going into it expecting things to not fall together quickly but I’m ever faithful and ever working, hope the best for you too with your writing! Hope to hear more from you as well! 🙂

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  3. Great post – I love your blog.
    May I recommend, at your suggestion that “at some point you will rip this blog down” that if the time ever does come that you want to rip this down, you just make the blog private. That way, as far as the world is concerned, you have shut it down. But for your own personal use, you might find you want to come back to some of this stuff some day, and if you delete it, you can’t. I know from experience, because I deleted a site I made, and I can remember pressing that button which says: are you sure you want to permanently dump this thing? And I was like: Yeah, of course!
    Now I think: Why did I do that? I had records of my stuff, and my thoughts, and I had made connections with people who clicked and liked and commented. And I incinerated it all.
    So, yeah. 😉

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    • That’s fantastic advice haha I wrote this blog post truthfully believing it would just go into a vacuum a few months before I really started to get more serious about blogging. I should know better really, and I’m thankful for the people who have read it and especially commented on it, I didn’t know at that point whether or not I could keep a solid pace and I was a little worried about making myself too vulnerable by putting too much out there. And I wasn’t sure what direction my blog would take. I’ve since decided to keep a pace of one post a week, while in between trying to make connections with other bloggers pretty much just like this it’s awesome haha I’m still not positive exactly what direction I’ll take, I figure that I’ll just try to either write posts that entertain or posts where I just need a general release and try to see if people can empathize and connect with it. I’m truly happy you like my blog, you have no idea how much every individual supporter means to me. You’ve really articulated what I’ve started to feel lately, I likely won’t destroy it I would most likely move it to private, but for the foreseeable future I plan on keeping very active with it and keeping it in the public domain. But if ever the day did come I would certainly heed this advice, I’d move it to private especially after all the positive comments and connections I’ve started to build with fellow bloggers. Thanks again for the awesome comment, I appreciate your taking the time to write it and I’m once again very happy you’re enjoying the content on my blog. I’ll do my best to not disappoint! 🙂

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  4. I have a feeling you will get your agent by the end of the year as you wrote it here, and now it is a goal! I admire writers like you, who are not willing to give up…so keep at it 🙂 Keep that dream and your ideal situation ever present in your mind. As far as writing, my goal is to make writing less cumbersome…to write naturally, if there is such as thing…I’ve mostly written reports, so having a blog is really helpful.

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    • I hope so!! I truly appreciate your admiration, it means a lot to me to have so much support.. I’ve got my mind fixated on my vision and my dream and I’m doing my best not to see the horrifying obstacles in my path along the way haha and your saying that you have a goal to make writing less cumbersome makes plenty of sense to me, I seek to write with a natural flow as well. My goal is for the reader to flow along with my current, and I hope to help enrich people’s lives with my writing as we flow along. I’ve found blogging to be very beneficial for my writing as well, it’s great to get so much insight from so many other minds out there, and to have the vicarious experience of other parts of the world through other bloggers’ eyes. Thank you so much once again for the support, and best of luck to you in all your writing endeavors po!!! I’m filipino too btw I’m half po hahah thank you so much once again for the kind comment 🙂

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  5. Hey Oscar, it’s me. You liked me so it only made sense that I check you out. Still don’t know how you came to view mine but I’m happy that you did. Now, about this post, I can almost confidently say that every blogger feels that way at the beginning. In fact, ( n dis is our lil secret), I still kinda feel that way sometimes. So honey, just keep at it, keep speaking, well, more like writing your mind, and I assure you that with time, your dreams will come true. Happy blogging, blogger!!!

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    • That’s re-assuring to know that I’m not alone in these feelings haha thank you so much for dropping by my blog as well and for the positive comment! I’ll do my best to keep at it until I reach my goals! Happy blogging to you as well, and thank you so much once again!! 🙂

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      • I think we all have our own reasons for deciding to put our thoughts out there into the blogosphere, some people write because they want to inform others, some people need release, there must be a whole host of other reasons I’m not thinking of, ultimately I personally really need to express myself and it’s helpful having people read those thoughts and at the same time I would like to build up a readership before finally getting my novel published so I’m hopeful that someway or other an agent will find they like my writing and decide to take a chance on me, and having an online presence might help nudge them in the direction of taking that leap of faith

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  6. Hey, Carlos! It’s fascinating how the realm of social media really seems to work as a means of facilitating relations and networking. I dropped into your blog because I saw that you liked a page of mine, and BAM. Followed. Just like that. Simply because I see your struggles and recognize them as my own, and I appreciate what you’re choosing to write about, and how. Not to mention I could say “Valar Morghulis” and you’d ACTUALLY appreciate what I had just said. Haha.
    As I’m a new blogger myself, I totally get how frustrating (in an expected way, because who ever expects to get known within their first 3 or 5 or even 20 posts?) it is when you start pouring your heart out to find there are only a couple people on the other end even listening. But you’re right–regardless of who it is you’re reaching, whether it’s a single person or a hundred–the process itself is so cathartic for you, the writer. It’s not only a means by which you can express and organize your thoughts, it just feels GOOD to get those thoughts out there on a page and be proud of the way you were able to arrange them.
    I’m working on quite a lengthy manuscript myself at the moment, as I saw in one of your other posts you were worried by the length of your completed manuscript. But ya know what? GRRM’s first ASOIAF novel was just shy of 300k words. THAT’S what gives me inspiration. Even if it took him almost a decade to truly hit it off even AFTER his publication–look at what a success it is now! How much of an inspiration it is to SO many people on SO many levels. And it’s because of his dedication and commitment that he even made it in the first place. You said one of your goals is to find an agent by the end of this year, and if you’re truly that committed, and you truly network your freaking BUTT off, I know you can bring that goal to fruition. I’m at 110 pages in the novel I’m working on now, and I think I’m somewhere between 1/3 of the way and halfway through. Which means I have a lot of writing ahead of me. But I couldn’t ever give up, because the process is so dear to my heart, so intrinsic to my being. It’s not a matter of even WANTING to write sometimes, but NEEDING to. And it’s great to read honest blogs from writers such as yourself striving for similar goals, and to know that it’s possible to get my name out there too. You got this!

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    • LOL you called me Carlo that just cracks me up that’s actually the name of one of my best friends haha I’m so happy that my writing has connected with you! I checked your blog out too and decided to follow, I’m very happy that you empathize and I completely feel you when it comes to writing. I just wish I was as connected as George RR Martin was when he was just starting out, he all ready had a bit of a writing career in other outlets in prior decades and then he really just delved into his ASOIAF universe later on in the nineties. If somebody does end up taking on my manuscript I’d be pretty damn happy but I’m preparing myself for the possibility of having to go about self publishing, marketing the book on my own, taking on just about all of the risk, if need be. That’s awesome that you’ve got so many pages down in your book! Keep at it with your vision, I know what you mean when it comes to needing to write. It becomes a part of what makes you feel stable and fulfilled in life, and I’m so happy that you find my blog relatable. You got this too yo don’t stop working you’ll get your name out there! Thank you so much for the heartfelt comment! Blessings to you, and Valar Morghulis 🙂

      sidenote: Jaqen H’ghar is the man

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      • Hey–sorry, I didn’t see you replied to this! Thanks for the follow! Ugh, failure, I can’t believe I called you Carlos, so sorry!! I don’t know where that came from. ha
        Right? GRRM was pretty established when ASOIAF came out, but even then it took him like a decade before he began to have the kind of following he has now, so that gives me some hope on that time aspect of it all 😛
        If you go the self-publishing route, definitely be prepared to fork out a lot of money! I took a class on how to get your book published and we spent a lot of time on self-marketing, and it’s all about networking-networking-networking! You have to be able to devote hours and hours a day to calling EVERYWHERE, setting up appointments and meet and greets and readings etc. to get your name out there, so I know it’s a lot of work that doesn’t always yield the best results, unless you have the time/money required to put into it. But I say go for it if you can! 😀
        Thanks for the reply, and Valar Dohaeris!
        And Jaqen H’ghar owns all.

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      • It’s really all good haha and I hear you on all of that this path is a grueling process, hopefully I can get one of my short stories published at some point, and congratulations on your publication!! That’s so exciting take that momentum and start that steady ride out!! =D

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  9. First human to finally like a post of my new blog.Lol.just scrolled right down to your site and read your first post!i thought I’d see a billion vligsijee everyone else has but you’re starting too!it’s good by the way,your post., you want to be a writer, goodluck stranger!you might be famous oneday!

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    • That would be pretty fantastic haha thank you so much for checking my site out too I don’t know the first thing about raising children most likely that’s not in the near future for me but I’m sure something like a bath can be a very foreign and disorienting experience for a baby tips with respect to how to properly approach it are invaluable knowledge for parents!! I really hope that I can get my book published and well distributed it’d be very nice I’ve revised it down quite a bit it’s around a little under 100,000 words now, and I’m soon attending a writers conference so I’m hopeful I can get a literary agent interested enough to take it on by the end of a one on one session, thanks so much for the comment once again and happy blogging to you!! 🙂

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